Drunken Blogger

2003-09-28T09:01:00.000-04:00

I am a hurtin' unit

The ribs still refuse to stop torturing me. The burns can all go to hell. There's this really mighty 3rd degree one on my right calf. Of course, this is directly under the leg splint for my right knee. A pretty 2nd to 3rd on left inner thigh with meandering road rash. Real fun. I go to ortho on Monday for the knee. Oh gee... I can't wait. As far as suing... not my style. Will if I have to but choose not. The driver was a FoAF, brand spankin new bike, not yet properly licensed. Driver agreed to pay all medical expenses. So far so good. Oh and how did the driver fare? A couple of scratches. On the bike and a good bit o' my skin on the hot bits.

2003-09-23T10:08:00.000-04:00

Bad Moon Rising

Due to Isabel, had no power from Thursday evening until this afternoon. Due to ride on brand spanking new Harley Saturday evening whilst behing sideswiped by an SUV, am down for the count on pain killers and cursing SUV driver. Have 4 broken ribs, mashed knee and numerous burns with road rash Film at 11...

PS : am on percocet and gin- please excuse typos

2003-09-18T11:42:00.000-04:00

***Urgent***

My daughter insists that she go to school tomorrow with "French" braids. I knew her hair was quite unmanageable and unruly but I thought she was over the top calling it French. /silliness

Advice on coif technique of French braiding hair for my Princess desperately required. Preferably with photos as I am most assuredly a visual apprentice.

2003-09-18T09:50:00.000-04:00

I believe I have fulfilled my stupid quota for the day and it's not even 10:00 in the bloody morning!

I drove my young daughter to school as usual. But - I was driving a friend's auto - being all gentlemanly and stuff. You see, she was nearly on an empty tank and was fearful of running out of petrol before refueling. Being the chivalrous gent that I am, I, um erm, offered my services.

Said auto is what my child oft refers to as a "Punch Buggy can't punch back!" She then proceeds to smack me out of my driving induced meditative state. Ahhh! I am awake! Need Petrol.

I have never driven a Punch Buggy. I know nothing about them. I now know... The petrol tank is on the passenger side. Do not pull up to a pump on the wrong side or attendant will be displeased. I now know to take auto out of drive whilst looking backwards intending to reverse. I now know to punch the petrol door button instead of the hatch button which are a mere millimeter apart from each other. I now know this will result in hitting the attendant in the head with the rear hatch door whilst he is standing over the petrol door waiting for it to open.

I have learned that my daughter thinks her father is the funniest man alive or the most daft. I'm not sure which as she was still giggling when I dropped her off.

2003-09-18T06:09:00.000-04:00

:-( Despair, Inc. - Increasing success by lowering expectations
Link via: Andrew

2003-09-18T05:47:00.000-04:00

Just add a little mustache, darken the hair, maybe switch out the flags. We're talking pure gold.

2003-09-18T05:34:00.000-04:00

We have got a nation of Manchurian Candidates who are training on video games.

The makers of the bestselling video game Grand Theft Auto are being sued for more than 60m pounds which is the equivalent of a shitload in U.S. dollars. It appears that two teenagers said they were copying its violent scenes when they killed a man. ... I fail to see how the responsibility of a consumer's stupidity rests on the shoulders of the manufacturer.

2003-09-16T11:50:00.000-04:00

Remember my nutter sister?

Prior to moving I did the unthinkable. I inadvertently got on her bad side. I had the audacity to disagree with her on a ridiculously minor issue. She has caused me no end of grief since - The least of which is something I am forced to spend much valuable time addressing. And the worst is having to spend a night in jail the day before my scheduled move. (more on that later)

She has inundated my email by signing me up to every spam worthy website she can. I get countless "curses" via nutter psychic/voodoo doll sites. I get spams from any and every known entity sending and resending information regarding "my" requests. These include my full name and former address. I do not want to have to change the email address I have had for years. I am getting junk snail mail ad nauseum being forwarded from my former address. My mail now comes in a box! She has threatened, via email, to call the former Mrs. Mac and "do everything she can" in attempt to cause harm to the status of my custody of my children. (Luckily, she does not have my current address or telephone number.)

I am not concerned with her calling former Mrs. Mac. I am, however, concerned that it has been a bit over one month and I thought she would have tired of her campaign of retribution for my transgression. What can I do?

2003-09-16T11:36:00.000-04:00

Moving erm… movers suck...

After much research and extremely thoughtful deliberation I very carefully selected the asshat moving companies of all moving companies. Being the bright gent that I am, I made sure our things would arrive at our new home 2000 miles away with plenty of time to unpack prior to the beginning of the school year. I contracted for this. I paid for this. I expected this.

Asshat Vanlines picked up all of my worldly belongings on 12 August. My contract clearly stated that said belongings would arrive between 18 August and 2 September. With that window of time one would think they could accomplish this relatively simple task. Christ! Lance Bass can get to the moon in a shorter period of time!

As of today, my entire life in boxes was still sitting in the state of origin! Hello? It has been sitting in the warehouse for 36 days! As soon as the truck finally pulls in and I have filed my rather extensive delay claim, I shall wreak holy hell with this company.

Any suggesstions?

2003-09-06T20:24:00.000-04:00

I should really do this. She has some good ones...

2003-09-05T07:44:00.000-04:00

Drunken Linkage...

One just can't get enough
photos of drunk people.

2003-08-28T09:09:00.000-04:00

French Health Minister Blames Heat Wave Deaths on Absence of French Word For 'Air Conditioning'

PARIS — In a move that may have linguistic repercussions for generations of French citizens, the Minister of Health resigned due to the fallout from the high number of deaths during the recent brutal heat wave.

Refusing to directly take responsibility for the country's response to this calamity, he blamed it on the lack of a French word for air conditioning, a result of the Academie Francaise's strict policy of no "franglais". French President Jacques Chirac accepted the resignation and admitted that banning the use of the English words for "air conditioning" may have set the stage for this crisis. "We realize now that a lack of air conditioning is not a good thing. By trying to keep our language 100% pure, we may have inadvertently caused this great tragedy."

The French, who recently banned the term email from their language, are well-known for thumbing their noses at English words and phrases that have become universally accepted everywhere else in the world. Most of the time, this just causes confusion, as French AOL users discover every time they turn on their computers and see the message, "Vous avez le courriel".

However, the public outcry after the heat wave aftermath has served as a wake-up call for the language purists. Chirac promised to push for an update of all French dictionaries and see that the words for climate control situations are added immediament, or as soon as the employees in the Ministry of Language Purity get back from their August vacations.

2003-08-27T08:23:00.000-04:00

Walking The Blog

The joys of NetFlix have been discovered over at The Speichers musings.

Michele can't deal with peace and quiet.

The Antic Muse is listening to Right-Wing radio so you don't have to.

Azarok is recovered from the hacking and brings us addicts an update in Nip/Tuck. I have missed the last two episodes. Thank-you!

John Cole over at Balloon Juice brings us emotional news.

John waxes melancholy on testicles? testes? teste something.

Speaking of testicles... Da Goddess has issues with reeeeeeally small peni.

MJ is banned in China and makes F words fun!

Dunlap over at Get A Clue bitches about burden of proof and gets a little bitch slapped in the comments.

Vincent wants to know.... What's the grossest most heinous thing you've ever eaten?

This is one of my very favorite blogs. Scot brings us disposable email, a place that has SATAN HELL as a clickable URL, and Holy Smoke - a skeptical site that looks at the facts about frauds, fakes, fools, and flim-flam amongst other wonderfully entertaining time wasters.

2003-08-21T09:14:00.000-04:00

S'up in Blogtopia? I get a little busy and come back to find a a royal mess. I've refrained from commenting on the smack down in the latest blight (blog fight) and respectfully shall keep my opinions to myself.

And what the hell happened to Azarok?

2003-08-18T09:14:00.000-04:00

I just completed my cross-country trek by car. I do not recommend this for any sane person. Must regenerate. Pass the GTs!

2003-08-11T10:07:00.000-04:00

Saddam Files for Bid to Succeed Gray Davis Sacramento - Lawyers for Saddam Hussein, retired dictator of Iraq, filed papers today with the California Secretary of State that will place the former Iraqi strongman on the ballot for the race to succeed Governor Gray Davis in the October 7th recall election.

"Saddam Hussein is an experienced manager who knows how to balance a budget," said Leon Panetta, an ex-official of the Clinton Administration who is chairing Citizens for Hussein. "He (Saddam) is not afraid to make the tough decisions. And if need be, Saddam will invade Nevada to get the necessary funding to balance California's budget."

Political pundits expect the race to boil down to a slugfest between Saddam and popular actor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Although his legions of fans give Schwarzenegger a distinct advantage at the polls, many pollsters believe that Saddam's use of Fedayeen irregular soldiers to maim, murder and rape potential voters may be enough to sway the electorate to the Ba'ath Party column.

2003-08-09T10:42:00.000-04:00

This Week's New Finds

Freak Girl - I like the snark. Some fluff but all in all a neat little time waster.

Kesher Talk - Intelligent, strong, opinionated and thought provoking. Go wish them a happy blogiversary.

Princess Melissa - Priceless. Funny. Irreverent.

Publicola - Who knew anyone had this much focus?

The Spoons Experience - A must read. The thinking person's blog.

Ye Olde Codger - Respect your elders. This old coot has lots to say.

2003-08-09T10:14:00.000-04:00

NoTD In today's News of The Day:

Generals love using Napalm, just hate the name. We napalmed both those (bridge) approaches,' said Col. Randolph Alles, commander of Marine Air Group 11, told the San Diego Union-Tribune. ... 'The generals love napalm,' said Alles. 'It has a big psychological effect.' ... During the war, Pentagon officials denied napalm was being used, saying the Pentagon's stockpile had been destroyed two years ago. ... Late Tuesday, Lt. Ryan Fitzgerald, a spokesman for the U.S. Central Command in Tampa, Fla., told The Associated Press napalm was not used. He declined to say whether firebombs were used. 'We did not use napalm in Iraq,' he said. 'Napalm is not a weapon that we keep in our operational arsenal anymore. 'You can call it something other than napalm, but it's napalm.

ULC pastor accused of fatal parenting advice. Court documents filed by the Utah Division of Professional Licensing ask a state judge to order the counselor, Keith Alvin Reber, to cease treating clients at the Cascade Center for Family Growth, which has faced scrutiny since the death of 4-year-old Cassandra Killpack. Cassandra's parents, Jennete and Richard Killpack, are accused of giving her so much water that she died. The Springville couple say they were given the discipline advice at the Cascade center -— an assertion Cascade owners and therapists vehemently deny. In the agency's July 10 filings, DOPL investigators allege that Reber, who came to Utah after Oregon officials moved to void his license as a marriage and family therapist, had been providing therapy to several children using a pastor's license. But Reber, according to the licensing agency's probe, is not a pastor at a Utah church. Reber reportedly told DOPL investigators that his credentials as a pastor were obtained through the Web site of the Universal Life Church, an Internet church that ordains all pastor-title seekers.

Single-Wide Hell Police said they had never seen anything like it: A girl, 14, and her 16-year-old brother locked in their bedrooms, plywood covering the walls and windows. The teens, officers said, were fed only liver soup and bread for days at a time in the feces-covered, single-wide mobile home they shared with their mother, her roommate, 12 rats, 10 cats, three dogs, three birds, two 8-foot snakes, two turtles and a prairie dog.

Change your belief system or GET OUT! A homeless Muslim woman claimed she and her two young children were denied shelter at the Salvation Army recently because she refused to participate in Christian Bible classes. ... 'They have me in my room, I had dinner there with the children,' Auxila said. 'Then, there was announcement ... for everybody to come to bible class.' Auxila claimed she then told a Salvation Army official she couldn't attend the Bible study. 'They said "If you don't attend Bible study, you have to leave,"' Auxila said. ... A Salvation Army official told KSAT 12 News that Bible study classes are not mandatory for people seeking emergency shelter and are investigating the incident.

This same thing happened to some local people who were homeless after their condo complex burned down. The Salvation Army stepped in to help. They offered $125.00 Walmart vouchers, food, and possible rent assistance for temporary housing. But... the potential recipients had to agree to attend thrice weekly "christian" meetings for six weeks and agree to volunteer a minimum of 10 hours per week to S.A. causes. If they disagreed for any reason, they were, not too politely, requested to leave. So, this comming holiday seasoson, when you see those bell ringers - either ignore them or put a few bucks in their own pocket and NOT the kettle.

File this under TFF! RIAA website hosted by ISP they sued ! Verizon has confirmed that, as of July, TST's own Web site and that of the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) made their way onto the ISP's network. ... Earlier this year, the RIAA and Verizon faced off in court with the ISP trying to protect its customers from the pigopolist's subpoena machine.

Vatican's official sex abuse policy: shut the fuck up For decades, priests in this country abused children in parish after parish while their superiors covered it all up. Now it turns out the orders for this cover up were written in Rome at the highest levels of the Vatican. ... The confidential Vatican document, obtained by CBS News, lays out a church policy that calls for absolute secrecy when it comes to sexual abuse by priests -- anyone who speaks out could be thrown out of the church. The policy was written in 1962 by Cardinal Alfredo Ottaviani. ... Bishops are instructed to pursue these cases 'in the most secretive way...restrained by a perpetual silence...and everyone (including the alleged victim) ...is to observe the strictest secret, which is commonly regarded as a secret of the Holy Office...under the penalty of excommunication.

2003-08-08T15:18:00.000-04:00

Moving sucks. The faster I go the behinder I get. And the expense! I find myself giving away so much. That is so much more cost effective than the cost per pound to move it. My advice to poor/homeless persons.... go to "moving" sales. We give away everything! We don't want it. We don't want to pay to move it. We will replace it once we are moved. No matter what the price tag says, it has no value. You will do us a favor by letting us give it to you. What you can't use you can pawn.

2003-08-05T12:23:00.000-04:00

To bloody hell with Ray Flynn, former ambassador to the vatican aka Poedophile Central. I saw him on Real Time the other night with Barney Frank (gotta love the man) and nearly choked on my GT. His (Ray, I'm a procreating catholic) stance on barring gay marriages? Procreation! Only catholics can procreate? Hell-fucking-oh? If that's the only leg he has to stand on we should throw him into the Atlantic ocean and call him Bob!

Note: Back in '78 Barney Frank gave me a job. He doesn't know me from Adam but he gave me my very first paycheck in my young life for Y.E.S. Youth Energy for Scituate, instituted by my then History of Scituate teacher, George Jarvis. We worked hard and long to clean up this coastal town after the storm of '78. Barney Frank, not only being a brilliant man, taught this man the value of a paycheck and a job well done. Especially after we found Mr. Hart's (the only casualty in Scituate) family photo album in the sand. That meant more to us than any paycheck could have.

2003-08-05T11:37:00.000-04:00

I'm a writer. I don't need a life... Of course I don't have a life. I'm a writer! I do my best work when I'm home alone in the dark. After the rest of the world is asleep. Except in Singapore, I guess. <--- private joke there. No matter what time my mates and I decide to have a cocktail my best mate's 72 year old mother relieves the guilt by proclaiming, "It's 6 O'clock in Singapore!"

My best writing starts with emotion, a feeling, a thought and builds from there. Or it starts with a name like Georgia Azalea and gets fleshed out from there. Georgia is amazing. You will meet her soon. She is strong and feisty but vulnerable in all the right areas and only the most intelligent of souls can see through her veneer of stoic independence. She's so much more than that. You'll love her.

Keeping with the I don't have a life theme, I am enjoying the discourse on Jenn's blog regarding STV aka Stupid Television.

She made a post about the reality show, The Restaurant. It kind of snowballed from there. It's kind of going like this....

Paradise Hotel - Guilty. (Glad Toni is gone) The Restaurant - Guilty. (Gideon LEEEOOOOOSER!) The Family - Guilty. (Aunt Donna has got to go!) Last Comic Standing - Guilty. (Ralphie better win) Celebrity Mole - Guilty. (Snarky Stephen Baldwin - yay!) Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - Guilty, (Kayan is a god)

As for non-reality TV....

Dead Like Me, Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck, Boomtown, The Sopranos, The Simpsons and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

I am thoroughly amazed that I can get anything accomplished!

And from Stephen...

LOL @ Jennifer and Mac! A world tour of wines? No. A world tour of literature? No.. A world tour of Temptation Island? YOU BETCHA! and Mac .. MY GOD! I thought that I was bad. Were you as surprised as I was to see Toni at the beginning of the season? As if we didn't get enough of her on "Love Cruise" (or whatever that show was called)

My reply:

Man oh Man, Stephen! I wanted to reach through the telly screen and throttle that biotch! I had a co-worker in real life just like her! Histrionic psycho bitch from hell is what we called her. And that whole bullshit of "I'm doing it for Amy." PAHleeeze! She knew her skanky finger in yer face but don't you DARE talk to me like that ass was gone no matter what she did. "Game On" biotch! Whee! I'm just glad that cute little Charla will finally get some canoodling time with new hot guy. He seems to be the only one who knows what time it is. Charla had a win/win situation. If she picked Dave she knew he'd choose her. If she picked hot Keith she knew he wouldn't want Toni. Good on her! Next to go, Amy, I hope!

Oh GAWD! I need a life!!!!!

I'm a writer. I don't need a life!

2003-08-05T11:04:00.000-04:00

What the bloody hell is a trackback and how would one utilise it?

2003-08-05T10:47:00.000-04:00

Larry Flynt invites you to join him in prayer. On Tuesday, August 5th at 12:45pm, he has organized a special gathering to pray to God for Fox News Channel blowhard Bill O'Reilly's death. ... 'Dear (God/Allah/Buddha/other entity of your choice), we ask you to afflict Bill O'Reilly with a brain aneurysm that will lead to his slow and painful death. O, Lord, may his blood vessels bulge out of his head and explode without mercy. May he writhe in agony --

This is wrong in so many ways I couldn't even begin to rant on it for fear of not being able to stop.

2003-08-04T10:56:00.000-04:00

In other news... Bill is still a wanker.

2003-08-04T10:41:00.000-04:00

My new addiction. What else is a single Dad home alone on a Friday evening supposed to do?

2003-08-03T11:23:00.000-04:00

Input Required

Have you ever used a professional mover? This is my first foray into this realm. I really loathe the idea of driving over 2000 miles with children and a U Haul strapped to my backside.

I have choices they say. I don't want them pawing through our belongings so have chosen to do my own packing. Great! But - there's always a but. If I do my own packing their insurance won't cover any loss or damage. WTF? If I let them do my packing it will cost more than a down payment on a nice beachside condo. Labour charges not included, their packaging costs are grotesque.

Anyway, my questions are these: Have you ever used a professional mover? If so, could you please share your experiences and/or helpful hints with me?

2003-08-01T12:59:00.000-04:00

OK. I think I'm done for today. Have to pack for my cross-country move. Yes, I took a position with a rival publication. Leaving the 15th. Blogging maybe sparse or not...

2003-08-01T12:50:00.000-04:00

I are smart.

2003-08-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

Cow farts!

2003-08-01T12:23:00.000-04:00

Yes, folks, I'm on a link fest today. There's so much good reading out there and great folks. But not him. he's a whore. And not he, Here's a nice hot towel for your balls let me clean them for you kind of whore but the clean up my dirty tissues before you leave kind of whore. A complete and total wanker. He posts big hair pics of his poor but obviously stupid for marrying him wife and whores his mother-in-law! I so refuse to link him, ever! Whoooo ahhhh!

2003-08-01T12:13:00.000-04:00

if you don't know her, and you should! Go check out MJ. She's the only woman on the face of the planet who makes me wish I didn't have a penis! I'd tuck for her!

2003-08-01T11:59:00.000-04:00

In a word, wow! You really must go here. I found this blog the other day and spent more than an hour perusing the contents. Believe you me, being pretty much a candidate for adult ADD studies it takes quite a lot to hold my attention span for that How 'bout them Bears? long. Though I like it all, some of my personal faves are, Or I'll Sue You, We Didn't Want To Get Cold and Shades of Kramer. I read Nurse Practioner parts 1 and 2. I read it all. In deep and full admiring I am - as to quote Yoda. Go there. read it. read it all. Great stories and fantastic writing. Take it from a published writer (who obviously doesn't use grammar/spell check on his blog), I see a future book here. Oh and don't miss the Safe Sex posts. Gems, all of them.

2003-08-01T11:27:00.000-04:00

File this under: Just When I Thought I'd Seen It All. Forget hunting for Bambi. These bloody freaks aka PETA, (I refuse to link them) should be nothing more than target practice for NRA members. Comparing slaughterhouses to the Holocaust?

2003-07-28T14:09:00.000-04:00

Divorce Houses

While I was on holiday I visited my “married” house.

There are two kinds of houses in the neighbourhood where I was living as a married man – the ones where the parents stayed married, and the ones where they didn’t.

Given only a cursory glance, both kinds of houses look the same – big, rambling, four and five-bedroom colonials set well back from the sidewalk-less streets, each an acre of land. Most are painted conservative colours, with contrasting colours, with contrasting shutters and trim – a slate-gray house with blue shutters, for example, or a pale beige house with a red door. Most have long driveways, done in gravel, and many have in-ground pools out back.

But look closer – or better yet, stay awhile – and you’ll start to see the difference.

The divorce houses are the ones where the Chem-Lawn truck doesn’t stop anymore, the ones the plowing guy drives past on the mornings after winter storms. Watch, and you’ll see either a procession of sullen-faced teenagers, or sometimes even the lady of the house, emerge to do the raking, mowing, shoveling, trimming, themselves. They’re the houses where mom’s Camry or Accord or minivan doesn’t get replaced every year, but just keeps getting older and older, and where the second car, if there is one, is more likely some fourth-hand piece of automotive detritus purchased from the classified ads than the time-honoured stripped down but brand-new Honda Civic or, if the kid’s really lucky, Dad’s cast-off midlife crisis sports car.

There’s no fancy landscaping, no big pool parties in the summer, no construction crews making a racket at 7:00 A.M. adding on that new home office or master bedroom suite. The paint job lasts for four or five years instead of two or three, and is more than a little bit flaky by the time it gets redone.

But mostly, you could tell on Saturday mornings, when what my friends and I dubbed the Daddy Parade began. At about ten or eleven o’clock every other Saturday, the driveways up and down the street, and the neighbouring streets, would fill with the cars of the men who used to live in these big four and five-bedroom houses. One by one, they’d exit their cars, trudge up the walkways, ring the bells of the homes where they used to sleep, and collect their kids for the weekends. The days, my friends would tell me, would be full of every kind of extravagance – shopping excursions, trips to the mall, the zoo, the circus, lunch out, dinner out, a movie before and after. Anything to keep the time passing, to fill the dead minutes between children and parents who suddenly had very little to say to each other once they’d got done either mouthing pleasantries (in cordial no-fault cases) or spitting vitriol (in the contested cases, where the parents paraded each other’s shortcomings and infidelities in front of a judge – and, by extension, in front of a gossipy public, and, eventually, their children as well)

2003-07-28T12:53:00.000-04:00

I have gotten to the point where I cringe every time a government official begins a sentence with "In this post-911 era... "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

2003-07-28T12:27:00.000-04:00

Now, this sounds like fun! I just love spontaneity.

2003-07-28T12:11:00.000-04:00

Hi. My name is Mac and I am an addict.

2003-07-26T12:15:00.000-04:00

Queer Eye For the Straight Guy - in a word: Quality Telly. Ok that's 2 words. Bite me.

Originally aired on Bravo and now being screened for option on NBC. Meaning - We'll show a "special" screening and if we don't hear from Pat Robertson or his self-appointed yet non-existant boss, G-O-D, we'll play it for all it's worth.

Ergo: we like the gay folk as long as they keep up the ratings and make us money.

It's all about the benjamins, folks.

All I know is I enjoy the hell out of it and they make killer cocktails!

2003-07-26T11:44:00.000-04:00

Parenting Bingo

If you win, you're probably having a fairly lousy day, so park the kids in front of the telly and have a cocktail. Hell, have two.

2003-07-26T10:16:00.000-04:00

Bloody Marys and Corn

I love my Bloodies. I don't do the whole celery stick poking in yer cheek/ear thing. My favourite garnish is a nice jumbo shrimp on a rim perfectly seasoned with cracked black pepper and sea salt with a floater of fresh squeezed lemon juice. I just finished my morning bloody to find a few wayward kernals of corn swirling with the melting ice. WTH? Where did that come from? I rinse my glass to make another, go to the freezer for more ice and find that an open bag of shoe peg has spilled into the ice tray frozen and suspended like an entry-level Tibetan climber.

2003-07-25T12:38:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday, Jenna B. Today my first baby girl would have turned 20. Though she has been gone for 18 1/2 years she is never out of my heart and rarely off of my mind. Daddy loves you sweet angel.

The mention of my child's name
may bring tears to my eyes
but it never fails
to bring music to my ears.
Let me hear the beautiful music
of her name.
It soothes my broken heart
and sings to my soul.

2003-07-24T23:31:00.000-04:00

Where is everybody?

2003-07-24T11:33:00.000-04:00

More Dirty Laundry

Is the head dead yet? Photos of the pig latin boys, Uday and Qusay. AKA Odai and Qusai

These images are very graphic and difficult to view and are not recommended for children and some adults. Viewer discretion is advised.

More info here and here

2003-07-24T10:43:00.000-04:00

Riddle Me This 4

What is the largest amount of money in coins you can have without being able to make exact change for a dollar (USD)?

2003-07-24T10:27:00.000-04:00

A couple of questions:

George, why does your page take forever to load? And, Billy, where the hell did ya go?

2003-07-24T10:16:00.000-04:00

Finally back from holiday. And folks, three weeks just isn't enough. If this is what life post holiday is like without a hangover, then quite frankly I don’t want any part of it. It disrupts the fundamental order of things.

2003-07-24T10:04:00.000-04:00

On Naming names or why the Bryant case is different:

It is no different than any other high profile and sordid tale. Servers are crashing due to people looking for photos of Kobe Bryant's accuser. It's all about dirty laundry, folks. Though loathe to admit it, the masses love it. Don Henley said it best:

I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something, something I can use
People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry

Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around

We got the bubbleheaded bleach-blonde, comes on at 5
She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry

You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
Love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry

2003-07-24T09:04:00.000-04:00

Movies. They're worth it. Let's see. $9.00, for two hours...$4.50 per hour per person. Whereas Vice City is at Best Buy for $50.00. From what I hear it's about 40 hours of game play and there's no limit to how many people can play it. So that's $1.25 per hour, unlimited people. If you work out six people being entertained for six hours, that's $7.50 for Vice City vs. $162.00 for three movies. Suddenly movies don't seem quite as worth it, especially if one of those movies turns out to be The Hulk.

2003-07-18T07:36:00.000-04:00

And this, my friends, is just one of the many reasons I detest organised religion.

2003-07-18T07:30:00.000-04:00

I only do it for medicinal purposes. Or as I told my son when questioned about it... Half of the population does it and the other half lies about it!

2003-07-09T08:48:00.000-04:00

You really must see this:

1. Go to Google.
2. Type in but don't hit return: "Weapons of Mass Destruction".
3. Hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button instead of the regular search button.
4. READ carefully what appears to be a normal error message.

2003-07-08T11:32:00.000-04:00

Still on holiday. Some form of normalcy shall resume sometime around the 23rd or so. Currently in Philly. Off on Thursday for 4 glorious days in Ocean City, MD, then off to the Big Apple and back to Philly for a few days. As you were...

2003-06-30T10:55:00.000-04:00

Riddle Me This 3

There are 5 houses in 5 different colours in a row. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage. Other facts:

The Brit lives in the red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
The green house's owner drinks coffee.
The owner who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The owner living in the center house drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
The owner who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.
The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who drinks water

The question is : WHO OWNS THE FISH?

2003-06-30T09:53:00.000-04:00

GTs, Breakfast of Champions

The former Mrs. Mac came to town this weekend to do her biannual maternal bits. The progeny will be on holiday with her for the next three weeks. Being quite keen on seeing her immediately, they couldn't keep it in and my youngest spilled the beans. Mummy! We're going to surprise you at the gate with flowers and sweets! The poor dear should have known better. Mummy is so tired after her long flight. And after all, you did just see her for a few days 6 months ago didn't you? Of course she'll call you tomorrow from her hotel after she's had a bit of a lay in. No, you can't spend the night with her, she may have to entertain you or talk to you or something. Yes, you'll see her tomorrow. When? I don't know. But she will. I'm sure of it. She didn't fly over 4000 km for nothing you know. We'll have a nice breakfast and I'll help you sort your clothing while you wait for her.

At the moment the children are still asleep. The sweets have melted under my little girl's pillow where she stashed them for safe keeping. There are wilted petals on the sideboard and I can't find a bloody lime!

2003-06-29T15:43:00.000-04:00

Since my last email to her, my nutter sister has not replied. Can I hope to be free of her? A man can dream. Her typical behaviour when one refuses to bend to her will is to either bomard you with emails or voice messages or to shut you out. If she shuts you out she'll let oodles of time go by. All that time she shall be stewing about your audacity to even consider that she could somehow be wrong. But then she shall call or email you out of the blue with a I was just thinking about you and decided to call. Somewhere in the conversation she will work in a her forgiveness to you for slighting her whilst reminding you of how wonderful she is for doing so. At which time I feign lack of memory of my transgression.

Of course, I failed to realize this the last time she shut me out. Unlike the rest of our family I did not have her routine down. I'm the wanderer of the family and was blissfully ignorant of her ways. Oh, I was warned. But not having those years of experience with her and being a man who lends little to no credence to rumours lest I have direct experience, I paid no heed. I was further warned by her complaints regarding others. I didn't do the math. Shame on me. I know now and am hopeful to be free. Wish me luck.

2003-06-29T15:20:00.000-04:00

Riddle Me This 2
Someone at a party introduces you to your mother's only sister's husband's sister in law. He has no brothers. What do you call this lady?

2003-06-28T21:36:00.000-04:00

What is the best way to deal with a psycho relative? or... What would you do?

I had planned on actually blogging something today, but that was not to be. I had to deal with my completely psychotic sister who has been trying with all she has to goad me into an argument. Why, you ask? I had the audacity to disagree with her on something so unbelievably banal, that had I known this at the time, I most certainly would have kept my gob shut. Well, this sent her into a tizzy, I soon learned.

Gee, Mac, what makes her psychotic? Here, let me show you…

She sent me an email blasting me for having a differing opinion. I did not respond. She then sent another email blasting me. Again, I chose to ignore it. She sent me a third email with a simple, So, aren’t you interested in how my job interview went? Mind you, the disagreement had nothing to do with her job interview. Her employment or lack thereof is sincerely of no concern to me. This came directly out of the blue. So, I shot off a rather short, Well, how’d it go? I had to control my laughter when she spews, That's it? No reply to any of my other emails.... and you now want to know if I got the job or not?

I’m sitting here thinking, WTF? Not only has this job not been discussed for over a fortnight it was certainly not at all on my mind. It had absolutely nothing to do with the initial discussion but what she failed to realize in her quest of goading me into an argument is… I didn’t ask! So I shot back, I don't want to argue with you, Marie. You said what you needed to say and I see no reason to carry it on. It’s not that I now want to know about your job. You are the one who asked if I was interested. I was simply replying to your question.

Can ya tell I have no desire to get into a row with her? I knew you could. Obviously, she doesn’t. I then received, Just to validate something, do you see my point? Or are you just conceding to the issue at hand? Yes, I got the job and will be in Chicago Illinois in July or beg of August.

My first thought was, Oh great! She’ll be out of town for a while! My second thought was, I am certainly not validating shite for this ignorant wench! But this is not what I said. I controlled myself as you can see:

Again, I am not going to argue with you. Let it go. Congrats on the job! How long is training? When will you start? What will you be doing?

Does this end it? Noooooooooooooo. She is certainly not through with me yet. Case in point, her last email: You know, I am not arguing either.... I just wanted to know where you stand as far as my comments were concerned. I deserve at least that. And again, I will always love you you are my brother! but I will not let this go not now not ever.

Oooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkk. As she has assured me, this will never end as she refuses to let it go. You will note that she said nothing more about the job interview.

My last email was short and to the point, as all my emails to her are: It's not important, Marie. I'm sorry that you feel you cannot let it go. That is your choice. You have a habit of beating a horse half past dead and I have far more important things with which to concern myself than getting into a pissing contest with you over inconsequential things. This is now the 5th email you've sent trying to get me to react to your comments. This is precisely what I did not want. Whether or not I agree with your comments, I do respect your right to your opinion. I owe you nothing more than that and I'm sorry you feel you deserve anything more than that.

As you can perceive, I am waiting on needles and pins for her response to this. Not! Is she that daft or am I missing something?

2003-06-27T18:53:00.000-04:00

Riddle Me This 1

Answer me this whilst I attempt to come up with some witty or profound bits.

Who makes it, has no need of it.
Who buys it, has no use for it.
Who uses it can neither see nor feel it.

2003-06-27T10:14:00.000-04:00

I've been reading so many blogs for so long and decided it was time to jump into the mix. I am in no way HTML literate so it'll have to look like shite for the time being. Stay tuned. It gets better.