Drunken Blogger
  French Health Minister Blames Heat Wave Deaths on Absence of French Word For 'Air Conditioning'

PARIS — In a move that may have linguistic repercussions for generations of French citizens, the Minister of Health resigned due to the fallout from the high number of deaths during the recent brutal heat wave.

Refusing to directly take responsibility for the country's response to this calamity, he blamed it on the lack of a French word for air conditioning, a result of the Academie Francaise's strict policy of no "franglais". French President Jacques Chirac accepted the resignation and admitted that banning the use of the English words for "air conditioning" may have set the stage for this crisis. "We realize now that a lack of air conditioning is not a good thing. By trying to keep our language 100% pure, we may have inadvertently caused this great tragedy."

The French, who recently banned the term email from their language, are well-known for thumbing their noses at English words and phrases that have become universally accepted everywhere else in the world. Most of the time, this just causes confusion, as French AOL users discover every time they turn on their computers and see the message, "Vous avez le courriel".

However, the public outcry after the heat wave aftermath has served as a wake-up call for the language purists. Chirac promised to push for an update of all French dictionaries and see that the words for climate control situations are added immediament, or as soon as the employees in the Ministry of Language Purity get back from their August vacations.

  Walking The Blog

The joys of NetFlix have been discovered over at The Speichers musings.

Michele can't deal with peace and quiet.

The Antic Muse is listening to Right-Wing radio so you don't have to.

Azarok is recovered from the hacking and brings us addicts an update in Nip/Tuck. I have missed the last two episodes. Thank-you!

John Cole over at Balloon Juice brings us emotional news.

John waxes melancholy on testicles? testes? teste something.

Speaking of testicles... Da Goddess has issues with reeeeeeally small peni.

MJ is banned in China and makes F words fun!

Dunlap over at Get A Clue bitches about burden of proof and gets a little bitch slapped in the comments.

Vincent wants to know.... What's the grossest most heinous thing you've ever eaten?

This is one of my very favorite blogs. Scot brings us disposable email, a place that has SATAN HELL as a clickable URL, and Holy Smoke - a skeptical site that looks at the facts about frauds, fakes, fools, and flim-flam amongst other wonderfully entertaining time wasters.

  S'up in Blogtopia? I get a little busy and come back to find a a royal mess. I've refrained from commenting on the smack down in the latest blight (blog fight) and respectfully shall keep my opinions to myself.

And what the hell happened to Azarok?
  I just completed my cross-country trek by car. I do not recommend this for any sane person. Must regenerate. Pass the GTs! 
  Saddam Files for Bid to Succeed Gray Davis Sacramento - Lawyers for Saddam Hussein, retired dictator of Iraq, filed papers today with the California Secretary of State that will place the former Iraqi strongman on the ballot for the race to succeed Governor Gray Davis in the October 7th recall election.

"Saddam Hussein is an experienced manager who knows how to balance a budget," said Leon Panetta, an ex-official of the Clinton Administration who is chairing Citizens for Hussein. "He (Saddam) is not afraid to make the tough decisions. And if need be, Saddam will invade Nevada to get the necessary funding to balance California's budget."

Political pundits expect the race to boil down to a slugfest between Saddam and popular actor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Although his legions of fans give Schwarzenegger a distinct advantage at the polls, many pollsters believe that Saddam's use of Fedayeen irregular soldiers to maim, murder and rape potential voters may be enough to sway the electorate to the Ba'ath Party column.

  This Week's New Finds

Freak Girl - I like the snark. Some fluff but all in all a neat little time waster.

Kesher Talk - Intelligent, strong, opinionated and thought provoking. Go wish them a happy blogiversary.

Princess Melissa - Priceless. Funny. Irreverent.

Publicola - Who knew anyone had this much focus?

The Spoons Experience - A must read. The thinking person's blog.

Ye Olde Codger - Respect your elders. This old coot has lots to say.

  NoTD In today's News of The Day:

Generals love using Napalm, just hate the name. We napalmed both those (bridge) approaches,' said Col. Randolph Alles, commander of Marine Air Group 11, told the San Diego Union-Tribune. ... 'The generals love napalm,' said Alles. 'It has a big psychological effect.' ... During the war, Pentagon officials denied napalm was being used, saying the Pentagon's stockpile had been destroyed two years ago. ... Late Tuesday, Lt. Ryan Fitzgerald, a spokesman for the U.S. Central Command in Tampa, Fla., told The Associated Press napalm was not used. He declined to say whether firebombs were used. 'We did not use napalm in Iraq,' he said. 'Napalm is not a weapon that we keep in our operational arsenal anymore. 'You can call it something other than napalm, but it's napalm.

ULC pastor accused of fatal parenting advice. Court documents filed by the Utah Division of Professional Licensing ask a state judge to order the counselor, Keith Alvin Reber, to cease treating clients at the Cascade Center for Family Growth, which has faced scrutiny since the death of 4-year-old Cassandra Killpack. Cassandra's parents, Jennete and Richard Killpack, are accused of giving her so much water that she died. The Springville couple say they were given the discipline advice at the Cascade center -— an assertion Cascade owners and therapists vehemently deny. In the agency's July 10 filings, DOPL investigators allege that Reber, who came to Utah after Oregon officials moved to void his license as a marriage and family therapist, had been providing therapy to several children using a pastor's license. But Reber, according to the licensing agency's probe, is not a pastor at a Utah church. Reber reportedly told DOPL investigators that his credentials as a pastor were obtained through the Web site of the Universal Life Church, an Internet church that ordains all pastor-title seekers.

Single-Wide Hell Police said they had never seen anything like it: A girl, 14, and her 16-year-old brother locked in their bedrooms, plywood covering the walls and windows. The teens, officers said, were fed only liver soup and bread for days at a time in the feces-covered, single-wide mobile home they shared with their mother, her roommate, 12 rats, 10 cats, three dogs, three birds, two 8-foot snakes, two turtles and a prairie dog.

Change your belief system or GET OUT! A homeless Muslim woman claimed she and her two young children were denied shelter at the Salvation Army recently because she refused to participate in Christian Bible classes. ... 'They have me in my room, I had dinner there with the children,' Auxila said. 'Then, there was announcement ... for everybody to come to bible class.' Auxila claimed she then told a Salvation Army official she couldn't attend the Bible study. 'They said "If you don't attend Bible study, you have to leave,"' Auxila said. ... A Salvation Army official told KSAT 12 News that Bible study classes are not mandatory for people seeking emergency shelter and are investigating the incident.

This same thing happened to some local people who were homeless after their condo complex burned down. The Salvation Army stepped in to help. They offered $125.00 Walmart vouchers, food, and possible rent assistance for temporary housing. But... the potential recipients had to agree to attend thrice weekly "christian" meetings for six weeks and agree to volunteer a minimum of 10 hours per week to S.A. causes. If they disagreed for any reason, they were, not too politely, requested to leave. So, this comming holiday seasoson, when you see those bell ringers - either ignore them or put a few bucks in their own pocket and NOT the kettle.

File this under TFF! RIAA website hosted by ISP they sued ! Verizon has confirmed that, as of July, TST's own Web site and that of the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) made their way onto the ISP's network. ... Earlier this year, the RIAA and Verizon faced off in court with the ISP trying to protect its customers from the pigopolist's subpoena machine.

Vatican's official sex abuse policy: shut the fuck up For decades, priests in this country abused children in parish after parish while their superiors covered it all up. Now it turns out the orders for this cover up were written in Rome at the highest levels of the Vatican. ... The confidential Vatican document, obtained by CBS News, lays out a church policy that calls for absolute secrecy when it comes to sexual abuse by priests -- anyone who speaks out could be thrown out of the church. The policy was written in 1962 by Cardinal Alfredo Ottaviani. ... Bishops are instructed to pursue these cases 'in the most secretive way...restrained by a perpetual silence...and everyone (including the alleged victim) ...is to observe the strictest secret, which is commonly regarded as a secret of the Holy Office...under the penalty of excommunication.

  Moving sucks. The faster I go the behinder I get. And the expense! I find myself giving away so much. That is so much more cost effective than the cost per pound to move it. My advice to poor/homeless persons.... go to "moving" sales. We give away everything! We don't want it. We don't want to pay to move it. We will replace it once we are moved. No matter what the price tag says, it has no value. You will do us a favor by letting us give it to you. What you can't use you can pawn. 
  To bloody hell with Ray Flynn, former ambassador to the vatican aka Poedophile Central. I saw him on Real Time the other night with Barney Frank (gotta love the man) and nearly choked on my GT. His (Ray, I'm a procreating catholic) stance on barring gay marriages? Procreation! Only catholics can procreate? Hell-fucking-oh? If that's the only leg he has to stand on we should throw him into the Atlantic ocean and call him Bob!

Note: Back in '78 Barney Frank gave me a job. He doesn't know me from Adam but he gave me my very first paycheck in my young life for Y.E.S. Youth Energy for Scituate, instituted by my then History of Scituate teacher, George Jarvis. We worked hard and long to clean up this coastal town after the storm of '78. Barney Frank, not only being a brilliant man, taught this man the value of a paycheck and a job well done. Especially after we found Mr. Hart's (the only casualty in Scituate) family photo album in the sand. That meant more to us than any paycheck could have.  
  I'm a writer. I don't need a life... Of course I don't have a life. I'm a writer! I do my best work when I'm home alone in the dark. After the rest of the world is asleep. Except in Singapore, I guess. <--- private joke there. No matter what time my mates and I decide to have a cocktail my best mate's 72 year old mother relieves the guilt by proclaiming, "It's 6 O'clock in Singapore!"

My best writing starts with emotion, a feeling, a thought and builds from there. Or it starts with a name like Georgia Azalea and gets fleshed out from there. Georgia is amazing. You will meet her soon. She is strong and feisty but vulnerable in all the right areas and only the most intelligent of souls can see through her veneer of stoic independence. She's so much more than that. You'll love her.

Keeping with the I don't have a life theme, I am enjoying the discourse on Jenn's blog regarding STV aka Stupid Television.

She made a post about the reality show, The Restaurant. It kind of snowballed from there. It's kind of going like this....

Paradise Hotel - Guilty. (Glad Toni is gone) The Restaurant - Guilty. (Gideon LEEEOOOOOSER!) The Family - Guilty. (Aunt Donna has got to go!) Last Comic Standing - Guilty. (Ralphie better win) Celebrity Mole - Guilty. (Snarky Stephen Baldwin - yay!) Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - Guilty, (Kayan is a god)

As for non-reality TV....

Dead Like Me, Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck, Boomtown, The Sopranos, The Simpsons and Sponge Bob Square Pants.

I am thoroughly amazed that I can get anything accomplished!

And from Stephen...

LOL @ Jennifer and Mac! A world tour of wines? No. A world tour of literature? No.. A world tour of Temptation Island? YOU BETCHA! and Mac .. MY GOD! I thought that I was bad. Were you as surprised as I was to see Toni at the beginning of the season? As if we didn't get enough of her on "Love Cruise" (or whatever that show was called)

My reply:

Man oh Man, Stephen! I wanted to reach through the telly screen and throttle that biotch! I had a co-worker in real life just like her! Histrionic psycho bitch from hell is what we called her. And that whole bullshit of "I'm doing it for Amy." PAHleeeze! She knew her skanky finger in yer face but don't you DARE talk to me like that ass was gone no matter what she did. "Game On" biotch! Whee! I'm just glad that cute little Charla will finally get some canoodling time with new hot guy. He seems to be the only one who knows what time it is. Charla had a win/win situation. If she picked Dave she knew he'd choose her. If she picked hot Keith she knew he wouldn't want Toni. Good on her! Next to go, Amy, I hope!

Oh GAWD! I need a life!!!!!

I'm a writer. I don't need a life!
  What the bloody hell is a trackback and how would one utilise it? 
  Larry Flynt invites you to join him in prayer. On Tuesday, August 5th at 12:45pm, he has organized a special gathering to pray to God for Fox News Channel blowhard Bill O'Reilly's death. ... 'Dear (God/Allah/Buddha/other entity of your choice), we ask you to afflict Bill O'Reilly with a brain aneurysm that will lead to his slow and painful death. O, Lord, may his blood vessels bulge out of his head and explode without mercy. May he writhe in agony --

This is wrong in so many ways I couldn't even begin to rant on it for fear of not being able to stop.
  In other news... Bill is still a wanker. 
  My new addiction. What else is a single Dad home alone on a Friday evening supposed to do? 
  Input Required

Have you ever used a professional mover? This is my first foray into this realm. I really loathe the idea of driving over 2000 miles with children and a U Haul strapped to my backside.

I have choices they say. I don't want them pawing through our belongings so have chosen to do my own packing. Great! But - there's always a but. If I do my own packing their insurance won't cover any loss or damage. WTF? If I let them do my packing it will cost more than a down payment on a nice beachside condo. Labour charges not included, their packaging costs are grotesque.

Anyway, my questions are these: Have you ever used a professional mover? If so, could you please share your experiences and/or helpful hints with me?
  OK. I think I'm done for today. Have to pack for my cross-country move. Yes, I took a position with a rival publication. Leaving the 15th. Blogging maybe sparse or not... 
  I are smart. 
  Cow farts! 
  Yes, folks, I'm on a link fest today. There's so much good reading out there and great folks. But not him. he's a whore. And not he, Here's a nice hot towel for your balls let me clean them for you kind of whore but the clean up my dirty tissues before you leave kind of whore. A complete and total wanker. He posts big hair pics of his poor but obviously stupid for marrying him wife and whores his mother-in-law! I so refuse to link him, ever! Whoooo ahhhh! 
  if you don't know her, and you should! Go check out MJ. She's the only woman on the face of the planet who makes me wish I didn't have a penis! I'd tuck for her! 
  In a word, wow! You really must go here. I found this blog the other day and spent more than an hour perusing the contents. Believe you me, being pretty much a candidate for adult ADD studies it takes quite a lot to hold my attention span for that How 'bout them Bears? long. Though I like it all, some of my personal faves are, Or I'll Sue You, We Didn't Want To Get Cold and Shades of Kramer. I read Nurse Practioner parts 1 and 2. I read it all. In deep and full admiring I am - as to quote Yoda. Go there. read it. read it all. Great stories and fantastic writing. Take it from a published writer (who obviously doesn't use grammar/spell check on his blog), I see a future book here. Oh and don't miss the Safe Sex posts. Gems, all of them. 
  File this under: Just When I Thought I'd Seen It All. Forget hunting for Bambi. These bloody freaks aka PETA, (I refuse to link them) should be nothing more than target practice for NRA members. Comparing slaughterhouses to the Holocaust? 

Mac Abre's Rambling Meanderings



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